32 weeks And a picture

OK, so I'm 32 weeks and 3 days. But would you really guess that from this picture? Let's be honest... I'm HUGE. And please excuse my bathroom. Kenny wasn't here to take a picture for me.

Yesterday I had another doctor's appointment. He didn't measure the head this time, but I did get some news. Apparently the doctor is going to try to deliver him as close to 39 weeks as possible. I mean, it makes sense because Jake needs to be as developed as possible to have a better chance at a better recovery after surgery and all that. But or 7 more weeks of growing?? Can I do that?? I measured at 38 weeks yesterday and boy, do I feel it. I'm not sure... if I go to 39 weeks will I measure in the 50-week range? The doctor also said that if I go into labor on my own fairly soonish than I may be able to have a regular c-section cut. BUT if Jake stays in until he wants him to I'll have to have the vertical cut. I know it's the best for Jake and I want to do everything that's best for him, but yeah... sometimes I just wonder, "why couldn't everything just be normal like the babies everyone else is having?" I guess that's just how it goes.

Everyone I see or talk to thinks I must be due any day or having twins. HA . That's funny :)

Well, that's my current update! We'll see if I make it through February without a baby or what!

31 WEEKS! Here's a lot of information crammed into one post

I'm officially in my 31st week of pregnancy. I can't believe how fast it's going. Espeically since this means we only have about 4 weeks left until we're parents.... we think. :) Nothing's ever certain and the doctor can't give us an actual time frame yet. I know I'm lame and I don't have a picture with this post, but I'll post one soon when we get a camera which is hopefully this weekend.



So.. here's an update on Jake! We have met with both our pediatric neurologist and neurosurgeon, both of whom we LOVE and are so happy to have. Combined with our specialist OB Dr. Carpenter, we have the dream team of doctors and we couldn't be more pleased with them. I'm basically going in every week now for monitoring to my OB-GYN. Jake's head is about term size now (or larger), the size of a baby at about 40 weeks and the fluid is still there. Two weeks before we got that news, we learned that his head had grown significantly, but at the last appointment it hadn't really grown at all, which is good news and hopefully a trend that will continue! The doctor said that his head looks pretty much like another baby he had delivered a month or two ago and they had to take him at 35 weeks, so that's what we're counting on right now.



We also got some really good news. We sent in some amniotic fluid to get Jake's chromosomes tested to make sure his hydrocephalus isn't genetic- on the x-chromosome. This genetic hydrocephalus would mean that if we had another boy there would be a 50/50 chance of recurrance, and also it tends to carry other things along with it such as severe mental retardation and physical impairment. We got the results back and they are negative!! We are so grateful and so blessed that every test has come back normal and as far as we know the hydrocephalus is the only problem. Many times Hydrocephalus goes along with other birth defects but so far, we have found none in our baby. We know that this is a huge blessing and also that it may not be so if it weren't for all the faith and prayers we've been receiving from friends and family. Thank you all so much. The ultrasound does show that the fluid is pushing his brain out toward his skull (which happens in all hydrocephalus babies but on different levels) and Jake's brain in some spots is very very thin, almost non-existent. Hopefully once he's born and the fluid is drained we will be able to see miracles happen with his brain development. But his heart rate is normal, his movement is great, and everything else seems to indicate a healthy baby. We're confident he'll be a fighter.

The neurologist said we can expect cognitive delays and also possibly problems with motor development. We love our neurologist and neurosurgeon. Both said to stay positive because they've seen worse cases of hydrocephalus turn out just fine. They are positive and kind and calm, and they give us hope. We're so grateful! The neurosurgeon, Dr. Whitehead, is someone who we're REALLY excited about. I had researched him a lot before we met with him and I was ecstatic that we got an appointment because his main focus is hydrocephalus. In fact, he's in a group of doctors from around the country who study this and try to make improvements on treatment. In fact, he said that if our baby's ventricles stay open as wide as they are with the fluid pushing them out that he may be willing to try a surgery that would be an alternative to a shunt, which would be awesome! It's called a Third Ventriculostomy. It's where the doctor goes in and makes a small hole in the brain tissue where it won't hurt brain function but allows the fluid to drain. The only problem is that there's only about a 20% chance of this working for life. But if Jake is in that 20%, right now we feel like that would be a miracle to not need a shunt. The more we learn about shunts the more we realize what a burden they are as much as they are a help. They tend to fail often, get infected, clog, and over or under-drain. Obviously if he has to have a shunt we'll deal with it and pray for the best, but if any of those conditions happen (which they eventually will), he'll need emergency surgery to correct the problem. So we always will have to keep a close eye on him no matter what. Dr. Whitehead is probably one of the only doctors in the United States to even consider doing a Third Ventriculostomy on a baby. In fact, I had read that you couldn't even get one for a baby at all! He seemed optomistic that even if it doesn't work and Jake ends up needing a shunt that it's ok... there may be another chance to try the Third Ventriculostomy again. In fact, his whole attitude was that no matter what happens there is always a reason to hope that something else will work. We absolutely love him! An interesting note: Both doctors said that there's a small chance the hydrocephalus will at least partially correct itself by the time he's born. They said that in a small number of babies this happens, depending on the reason for the blockage. Fingers crossed!

In the meantime, we're trying to get things ready as much as we can. Jake has some really cute clothes to keep him warm and cozy in the hospital, and that's really all we know that we need for him right now because we're not sure if we're going to have to buy him special equipment, or if I'm going to be breast or bottle feeding... all those things are up in the air just depending on how he does. I'm feeling very pregnant now and the aches and pains of pregnancy are really starting to show themselves. I'll be in my 8th month next week and in some ways I'm grateful I probably won't make it to the end. Jake's a big boy because of his head, and I sure do feel it! I think by the time my C-section comes around I'll be ready to have my body back to myself. I can't imagine going to term with him and luckily I most likely won't have to. Plus, I think the most brain damage with hydrocephalus occurs after the 32nd week of pregnancy. Not positive on that, but it's something I read.

We just want to say thank you to everyone because we know we're in your thoughts and prayers and we want you to know that we feel your faith and love even though we're so far away from many of you. Some days are harder than others for me, where I just don't know how I'm going to handle this and if I'm going to have the capacity and strength to take care of this little boy. And then that's when I feel God's love, and I feel the prayers you have been sending our way. Our burdens are made lighter and we can get through the next couple of weeks. We just try to take it a day at a time and just be optimistic about Jake's life. It helps to have optimistic friends, family, and doctors. Thank you all!

If you would like, please visit fetalhydrocephalus.com to see pictures of these special babies and read a little more about the condition. The main reason I've been posting this website is so that I can prepare everyone for the pictures of Jake we're going to post. We feel it's important to not hide his pictures and we want to show him off, but at first it can be shocking to see a hydro baby. The menu on the left of that website has a link to a gallery and you can see what the babies looked like at birth and then as they got older. It also shows the range of outcomes from hydrocephalus, which I think is awesome.

Ok, we'll keep you all posted. I'm planning on bringing my laptop to the hospital too while I'm there so I can post pictures and catch everyone up on how Jake is doing.

25 Week Update and Baby Jake's Story

It's been a long time since I've posted anything, and I realize this, it's been for a reason. I was going to do a post at 22 weeks when we found out the gender of our baby, but things got complicated :)

Ok, first of all, here's a picture of my belly! I'm 25-26 weeks now! Time is going by very very fast. We're so excited that we're having a boy. As for the complications, I'm never quite sure how to tell people about it, I just end up feeling awkward because I don't want people looking at me pitifully or saying anything weird or feeling awkward themselves because they don't know how to react. I guess I'll start from the top.

When we went in to see our baby on ultrasound at 22 weeks, first thing we saw were his little man parts and we got so excited. Yay it's a boy! Then the doctor started checking everything else out: the heart, the kidneys, the stomach, and the head. He kept taking measurements of the head and kept going back to it. Finally he stopped the ultrasound and left the room. I was freaking out at this point, and turns out my intuition was correct. The doctor came back in and diagnosed our baby with what's called Hydrocephalus, or "water on the brain". Little Jake's cerebral fluid is not draining on one part of his brain, causing the ventricles to dilate. Immediately he referred us to a perinatologist (someone who deals with high-risk pregnancies). For the last 3 weeks we have been undergoing test after test. I have had many ultrasounds, an amniocentesis, an MRI, and a fetal echo cardiogram ( a detailed ultrasound of the baby's heart). Apparently hydrocephalus can be a symptom of a greater problem such as Downs Syndrome, or another chromosomal issue which is why I had to undergo the amnio. Which, by the way, is something I hoped never to have to do, but in hindsight it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's just the idea of it that's more scary. I'm extremely glad I did do it though because the results have come back great! He doesn't have any chromosomal or genetic problems at all! Spina Bifida was also ruled out: his legs work just fine and he kicks me hard all the time. Also the doctor said his spine looks just fine. We found out that his heart is also perfect, and so we've been getting great news and have been so grateful!

Today we met with our doctor for the results of the MRI and everything combined to find out what the overall analysis of everything is and what they're going to do about it. So here goes: He has a blockage between the 3rd and 4th ventricles in his brain and unfortunately the fluid has accumulated quite a bit, about 3 times what the doctors like to see. There's no treatment they can do for him in the womb, but once his head gets to be a certain size they're going to have to take him by C-section and operate on him almost right away to get the drainage out. They're going to put a shunt in his head which may be permanently there for the rest of his life to help drain the fluid. The doctor said we can't know yet if any brain damage will occur or has occured, but honestly, we feel so grateful to have this diagnosis because it could have been so much worse. The doctor wants me to make it to 36 weeks, but it's very possible since his head is so big that I'll be delivering earlier. I'm hoping to make it to February! I'll be going in every week for observation from now until I deliver.

The day we found out about all of this, it just seemed like a whirlwind. As some of you know, this is our 3rd pregnancy and the only one to make it past the first trimester and so when the doctor came in and said he had bad news, it honestly felt like my baby was getting taken away from me again and that it was just going to be over. It felt like another huge disappointment and loss. Immediately we had a family fast with both sides of our family participating, and Kenny and I chose to have faith instead of having fear. Sure, there are moments when it's really scary and no, we don't know what the outcome is going to be for sure. But we have felt the strength of the Lord and the support from our friends and loved ones. As we've been to the temple and prayed so hard for our baby boy we've felt nothing but reassurances from the Spirit that everything is going to be ok. We know we'll make it through. And honestly, we have no doubts that Jake will make it through too one way or another. We realize he may be brain damaged, we realize he may be developmentally delayed or have other issues such as possible blindness or deafness, but in the end we feel an overwhelming peace that the Lord has all of it in his hands. That he is aware of our baby and his needs, and our needs, and through our faith all things are possible.

Jake is coming into a loving family and we have one of the best hospitals in the world that he's going to be able to stay in. We've been so blessed and we know we can deal with this. It's going to be hard to see our little boy undergo surgeries and be so small and fragile. We have a lot of comfort knowing we're sealed together forever as a family and also that here in Houston we have some of the best medical care in the world. The most difficult thing has been dealing with those who don't share our confidence and faith, even members of the church. We have been told multiple times by doctors and also others that we should really think about aborting our baby. If they only knew the hope we have for him! I'm just glad he's not being sent to anyone like that, who would abort him. This is our precious baby boy who we tried for almost 2 years to conceive and we're not giving up on him. Heavenly Father has sent him to us exactly the way he was meant to be sent. The world sees it as a tragedy, but to us, although it's a trial we know he's going to bring us so much joy and happiness. He already has!

Thank you to all those who have been keeping Jake in your prayers. We KNOW that they have been giving us strength to continue on in faith rather than fear, and we know that your faith and prayers have already helped Jake. Now we're just going to keep praying for miracles... that if it's the Lord's will this blockage can be undone before he's born, and if that's not the Lord's will, that he can stay in me until February! So please keep him in your prayers if you can and we will keep updating everyone. We will always hope for the best!

17 weeks

I'm growing! Or rather, the baby's growing quite a bit now and I'm starting to really look pregnant. I DID eat a big meal right before I took this picture and it always looks bigger after I eat a lot, but you can see that in the last month there's been some change, and I'm glad. At 13 weeks I thought I was pretty big and that I was going to start showing hugely but the growth tapered off until now and I'm about ready to start looking pregnant. Let's see, as far as symptoms, the new things are that now I have growing pains (uterus growing pains) that come and go throughout the day, as well as leg and hip cramps at night, but if I exercise I feel lots better. The most exciting new symptom is that sometime last week I started feeling the baby move for the first time! It feels different at different times and I only feel it a couple times a day at most, but it's exciting. It's like little bubbles, or flicks, or sometimes pokes. It's neat to finally have some tangible proof that there's someone in there :) Also, this is the last week of my 4th month and next week I'll be moving into the 5th! We thought we were going to be able to find out what we're having at about 20 weeks (at the end of this month) but the doctor says he wants to wait until the week before Thanksgiving, so it's kind of annoying, but I guess it's better to be more sure of the baby's sex. Hopefully time will go by fast until then because it's hard to wait!

In the meantime, Kenny is going to school and working. He's got some difficult classes this semester, but he's doing well. He's working outside on his parent's property with my brother in-law fixing up the property and installing things. As for me, I have an office job in downtown Houston. It's a part-time, temporary job for now where I'm just helping the company switch their hard copy paperwork into digital, and I really like having a job. It's fine for me to have a temporary job anyway since I couldn't have a permanent one until I know for sure what we're going to be doing with the baby and everything. So, that's our life! We're doing well, and so is baby :)

Heeeeerrre's the belly 12-13 weeks

13 weeks

Here's what our baby is looking like inside this week. I just randomly found this on the internet. It's amazing that someone the size of a peach can look so humanly and perfectly formed already. This week the intestines, which were partly in the umbilical chord, are now moving inside the baby. Also, the vocal chords are developing.

I'm not exactly sure how or when this happened, but as I am now 13 weeks and looking like THIS.... I can only hope that by the end of my pregnancy I have enough skin left to cover my tummy. I've only gained 2-3 pounds according to the doctor, and I usually fluctuate between a few pounds anyway, so this HAS to be uterus, right? Anyway, I know this picture isn't exactly cute but here it is for all to see who are far away from us :)

I've been feeling pretty good. At least, better than before. My all-day morning sickness is going away and I only threw up twice last week, zero times this week so far. I've had trouble with headaches, but that's not too bad. I'm not as tired as I was last week, although I'm still tired. Hunger is now my new best friend and I always want to eat which can actually be very annoying. Other than that I just feel like I'm so obviously pregnant!

Baby Makes Three

Well we almost can't believe that we finally get to announce our good news. After what seems like a long almost two years (even though it's not that long), we are so excited to announce that we are expecting!! Here's a picture of the little one when I was 8 weeks along. Up in the right corner is the baby's head and you can see the tiny arms and legs too. The white spots are just what the doctor used to measure the baby. We saw the little heartbeat at this appointment! Today I just had another doctor's appointment and we heard the heartbeat from the outside with a doppler. I am 12 weeks along and beginning my fourth month. Horray! We're very happy to share our good news.

Oh yes, I am due March 14th, 2011.

A Run Down

Since I haven't posted anything in a long time, I thought maybe I should do a run down of what we're up to.

Kenny- is currently tearing down trees and doing repairs at his parent's house with our brother-in-law Josh, which is a great job for them! Well, except for the fact that Kenny got poison ivy all over his body. We hope it will go away in a few weeks, poor Kenny. He's also going to school full time and will be able to graduate in about a year. Yay!! He's working really hard and has a calling in the elder's quorum.

Me- I'm getting into a dental assisting program so I can be a dental assistant in nine months and be able to get a job. I'm a little nervous about it, but it'll be really good for us! My calling in the primary is keeping me really busy. And I've been sewing a little here and there.

Together- We are so excited because we are going to have two new nephews this summer! One in June and one in July. We are also trying to be a little healthier by working out, and I'm taking a yoga class that I love :) Then in March we are going to Hawaii with Kenny's family! None of us have ever been except Kenny's parent's and grandma and so we're super excited!! We have a lot of fun things to look forward to and that's just the beginning...

We miss everyone and hope that everybody is doing really well.