It's been a long time since I've posted anything, and I realize this, it's been for a reason. I was going to do a post at 22 weeks when we found out the gender of our baby, but things got complicated :)
Ok, first of all, here's a picture of my belly! I'm 25-26 weeks now! Time is going by very very fast. We're so excited that we're having a boy. As for the complications, I'm never quite sure how to tell people about it, I just end up feeling awkward because I don't want people looking at me pitifully or saying anything weird or feeling awkward themselves because they don't know how to react. I guess I'll start from the top.
When we went in to see our baby on ultrasound at 22 weeks, first thing we saw were his little man parts and we got so excited. Yay it's a boy! Then the doctor started checking everything else out: the heart, the kidneys, the stomach, and the head. He kept taking measurements of the head and kept going back to it. Finally he stopped the ultrasound and left the room. I was freaking out at this point, and turns out my intuition was correct. The doctor came back in and diagnosed our baby with what's called Hydrocephalus, or "water on the brain". Little Jake's cerebral fluid is not draining on one part of his brain, causing the ventricles to dilate. Immediately he referred us to a perinatologist (someone who deals with high-risk pregnancies). For the last 3 weeks we have been undergoing test after test. I have had many ultrasounds, an amniocentesis, an MRI, and a fetal echo cardiogram ( a detailed ultrasound of the baby's heart). Apparently hydrocephalus can be a symptom of a greater problem such as Downs Syndrome, or another chromosomal issue which is why I had to undergo the amnio. Which, by the way, is something I hoped never to have to do, but in hindsight it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's just the idea of it that's more scary. I'm extremely glad I did do it though because the results have come back great! He doesn't have any chromosomal or genetic problems at all! Spina Bifida was also ruled out: his legs work just fine and he kicks me hard all the time. Also the doctor said his spine looks just fine. We found out that his heart is also perfect, and so we've been getting great news and have been so grateful!
Today we met with our doctor for the results of the MRI and everything combined to find out what the overall analysis of everything is and what they're going to do about it. So here goes: He has a blockage between the 3rd and 4th ventricles in his brain and unfortunately the fluid has accumulated quite a bit, about 3 times what the doctors like to see. There's no treatment they can do for him in the womb, but once his head gets to be a certain size they're going to have to take him by C-section and operate on him almost right away to get the drainage out. They're going to put a shunt in his head which may be permanently there for the rest of his life to help drain the fluid. The doctor said we can't know yet if any brain damage will occur or has occured, but honestly, we feel so grateful to have this diagnosis because it could have been so much worse. The doctor wants me to make it to 36 weeks, but it's very possible since his head is so big that I'll be delivering earlier. I'm hoping to make it to February! I'll be going in every week for observation from now until I deliver.
The day we found out about all of this, it just seemed like a whirlwind. As some of you know, this is our 3rd pregnancy and the only one to make it past the first trimester and so when the doctor came in and said he had bad news, it honestly felt like my baby was getting taken away from me again and that it was just going to be over. It felt like another huge disappointment and loss. Immediately we had a family fast with both sides of our family participating, and Kenny and I chose to have faith instead of having fear. Sure, there are moments when it's really scary and no, we don't know what the outcome is going to be for sure. But we have felt the strength of the Lord and the support from our friends and loved ones. As we've been to the temple and prayed so hard for our baby boy we've felt nothing but reassurances from the Spirit that everything is going to be ok. We know we'll make it through. And honestly, we have no doubts that Jake will make it through too one way or another. We realize he may be brain damaged, we realize he may be developmentally delayed or have other issues such as possible blindness or deafness, but in the end we feel an overwhelming peace that the Lord has all of it in his hands. That he is aware of our baby and his needs, and our needs, and through our faith all things are possible.
Jake is coming into a loving family and we have one of the best hospitals in the world that he's going to be able to stay in. We've been so blessed and we know we can deal with this. It's going to be hard to see our little boy undergo surgeries and be so small and fragile. We have a lot of comfort knowing we're sealed together forever as a family and also that here in Houston we have some of the best medical care in the world. The most difficult thing has been dealing with those who don't share our confidence and faith, even members of the church. We have been told multiple times by doctors and also others that we should really think about aborting our baby. If they only knew the hope we have for him! I'm just glad he's not being sent to anyone like that, who would abort him. This is our precious baby boy who we tried for almost 2 years to conceive and we're not giving up on him. Heavenly Father has sent him to us exactly the way he was meant to be sent. The world sees it as a tragedy, but to us, although it's a trial we know he's going to bring us so much joy and happiness. He already has!
Thank you to all those who have been keeping Jake in your prayers. We KNOW that they have been giving us strength to continue on in faith rather than fear, and we know that your faith and prayers have already helped Jake. Now we're just going to keep praying for miracles... that if it's the Lord's will this blockage can be undone before he's born, and if that's not the Lord's will, that he can stay in me until February! So please keep him in your prayers if you can and we will keep updating everyone. We will always hope for the best!
