It's been a long time since I've posted anything, and I realize this, it's been for a reason. I was going to do a post at 22 weeks when we found out the gender of our baby, but things got complicated :)
Ok, first of all, here's a picture of my belly! I'm 25-26 weeks now! Time is going by very very fast. We're so excited that we're having a boy. As for the complications, I'm never quite sure how to tell people about it, I just end up feeling awkward because I don't want people looking at me pitifully or saying anything weird or feeling awkward themselves because they don't know how to react. I guess I'll start from the top.
When we went in to see our baby on ultrasound at 22 weeks, first thing we saw were his little man parts and we got so excited. Yay it's a boy! Then the doctor started checking everything else out: the heart, the kidneys, the stomach, and the head. He kept taking measurements of the head and kept going back to it. Finally he stopped the ultrasound and left the room. I was freaking out at this point, and turns out my intuition was correct. The doctor came back in and diagnosed our baby with what's called Hydrocephalus, or "water on the brain". Little Jake's cerebral fluid is not draining on one part of his brain, causing the ventricles to dilate. Immediately he referred us to a perinatologist (someone who deals with high-risk pregnancies). For the last 3 weeks we have been undergoing test after test. I have had many ultrasounds, an amniocentesis, an MRI, and a fetal echo cardiogram ( a detailed ultrasound of the baby's heart). Apparently hydrocephalus can be a symptom of a greater problem such as Downs Syndrome, or another chromosomal issue which is why I had to undergo the amnio. Which, by the way, is something I hoped never to have to do, but in hindsight it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's just the idea of it that's more scary. I'm extremely glad I did do it though because the results have come back great! He doesn't have any chromosomal or genetic problems at all! Spina Bifida was also ruled out: his legs work just fine and he kicks me hard all the time. Also the doctor said his spine looks just fine. We found out that his heart is also perfect, and so we've been getting great news and have been so grateful!
Today we met with our doctor for the results of the MRI and everything combined to find out what the overall analysis of everything is and what they're going to do about it. So here goes: He has a blockage between the 3rd and 4th ventricles in his brain and unfortunately the fluid has accumulated quite a bit, about 3 times what the doctors like to see. There's no treatment they can do for him in the womb, but once his head gets to be a certain size they're going to have to take him by C-section and operate on him almost right away to get the drainage out. They're going to put a shunt in his head which may be permanently there for the rest of his life to help drain the fluid. The doctor said we can't know yet if any brain damage will occur or has occured, but honestly, we feel so grateful to have this diagnosis because it could have been so much worse. The doctor wants me to make it to 36 weeks, but it's very possible since his head is so big that I'll be delivering earlier. I'm hoping to make it to February! I'll be going in every week for observation from now until I deliver.
The day we found out about all of this, it just seemed like a whirlwind. As some of you know, this is our 3rd pregnancy and the only one to make it past the first trimester and so when the doctor came in and said he had bad news, it honestly felt like my baby was getting taken away from me again and that it was just going to be over. It felt like another huge disappointment and loss. Immediately we had a family fast with both sides of our family participating, and Kenny and I chose to have faith instead of having fear. Sure, there are moments when it's really scary and no, we don't know what the outcome is going to be for sure. But we have felt the strength of the Lord and the support from our friends and loved ones. As we've been to the temple and prayed so hard for our baby boy we've felt nothing but reassurances from the Spirit that everything is going to be ok. We know we'll make it through. And honestly, we have no doubts that Jake will make it through too one way or another. We realize he may be brain damaged, we realize he may be developmentally delayed or have other issues such as possible blindness or deafness, but in the end we feel an overwhelming peace that the Lord has all of it in his hands. That he is aware of our baby and his needs, and our needs, and through our faith all things are possible.
Jake is coming into a loving family and we have one of the best hospitals in the world that he's going to be able to stay in. We've been so blessed and we know we can deal with this. It's going to be hard to see our little boy undergo surgeries and be so small and fragile. We have a lot of comfort knowing we're sealed together forever as a family and also that here in Houston we have some of the best medical care in the world. The most difficult thing has been dealing with those who don't share our confidence and faith, even members of the church. We have been told multiple times by doctors and also others that we should really think about aborting our baby. If they only knew the hope we have for him! I'm just glad he's not being sent to anyone like that, who would abort him. This is our precious baby boy who we tried for almost 2 years to conceive and we're not giving up on him. Heavenly Father has sent him to us exactly the way he was meant to be sent. The world sees it as a tragedy, but to us, although it's a trial we know he's going to bring us so much joy and happiness. He already has!
Thank you to all those who have been keeping Jake in your prayers. We KNOW that they have been giving us strength to continue on in faith rather than fear, and we know that your faith and prayers have already helped Jake. Now we're just going to keep praying for miracles... that if it's the Lord's will this blockage can be undone before he's born, and if that's not the Lord's will, that he can stay in me until February! So please keep him in your prayers if you can and we will keep updating everyone. We will always hope for the best!
5 comments:
Mandi,
I am so glad you chose to share with all of us who care and love you. I find that having many people support you and pray for you and your sweet baby helps. You never think that having babies would be so hard and sometimes it is. Many many women have had losses and babies born who live with medical issues but to their mommies and daddies they are perfect. In my ward alone I can count 9 little children with issues ranging from autism to cerebal palsey to down syndrom (two brothers 5 and 3) to hannah's feeding disorder. You would be amazed someimes how sharing can actually bring comfort not only to you but to someone else who is also feeling scared and alone in their own hardships. Even if your sweet little guy lives the rest of his life with medical help like a shunt or therapy for any delays...you are right, your testimony tells you he is a perfect child of God and bringing him into this world bound by the covenant you have made with your husband will do nothing but bless and enrich your lives with his love for you for eternity. Much love and prayers for you and little Jake. xoxox
-Chloe
Dear Miss Mandi. We Bird's love you so much. You have been in our thoughts and prayers since we found out. You and your husband are true examples of faith, what a shining example you are to those who are taking care of you and working with you to bring Jake into the world, he is a lucky boy to have you as parents. Miracles are truly wrought by prayer. Thank you for sharing. Mom says she loves you so much and thinks about you often. We can't wait to meet little Jake one day, what a stud he is, what a fighter.
XOXO Lindsay & Sheri
Mandi, God never gives you more than you can handle. My prayers and love go out to you, your husband and your new baby. I know a little of what you are going through as the first doctor I went to told me I should abort Patrick. I did not listen either. Jake is a special spirit and he has been given to you for a reason. Celebrate everything! It will all be worth it! You are in God's hands. Take comfort in that!
Love, Sister Daniel (Shannon)
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! A baby boy is a gift to be celebrated! I LOVE the name Jake! I am certain that he is going to be the cutest, most remarkable baby boy ever!
And yes, I did read the entire story.(In case people are like, what???? didn't she read?) I am choosing to go with faith for you! So that means lots of congratulations! and exclamation marks.
haha
Okay, so it sounds like there is a lot of good news (!!!) and a lot of unknowns. Which is fine. Life is full of unknowns and the fact that there are unknowns shouldn't be scary.
And wow - so many blessings already! You live in Houston with all the medical help! wow. You have family nearby for support. wow. All the medical testing available to help you know what to expect. wow. And isn't it cool to see so many pictures of your sweet baby while he's still inside! (one of the few perks of a high risk pregnancy)
I love that you shared this. Thank you. You have strengthened me with your faith and courage. We will be keeping Baby Jake and you and Kenny in our prayers and we'll put you on the prayer roll in the temple.
You are so amazing, Mandi! It really comes as no surprise to me that Heavenly Father is trusting you with this opportunity to share with others the love He has for His children and the marvelous blessings that wait for us when we put our faith and trust in Him.
Baby Jake chose the perfect home! Congratulations!
I love you Mandi! I have always looked up to you and I want to be like you when I grow up. I will pray for you and Kenny and baby Jake :). I'm so impressed with your awesome positive attitude! He will be such a cute baby and a fun kid! I am soooo excited for you! Keep us updated! :)
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