36 weeks: My Last Week of Pregnancy

I'm having my c-section next week! I can't wait! I'm so ready to be done being pregnant. I'm huge, hopped up on meds, and I'm tired of being in the hospital already. I guess it's time to start making my blog nice and pretty because from here on out there's going to be a lot of updating to do. Until next week it's just a waiting game though. And I don't have my camera USB cable with me here at the hospital although I have been taking pictures. So this is a picture from my phone and for now it's going to have to do until my husband can bring the USB from home.

Well, I guess I'll just go over the whole story of how I landed myself here! The details are a little blurry because this medication is disorienting and I've been on it for a week so things have tended to slip out of my mind. I have a hard time forming coherant sentences and I'm pretty sure it's going to show in my blogging, but oh well. I'll try to make it understandable!

So two Saturdays ago I woke up in the middle of the night with back pain that lasted for about two hours and I couldn't sleep. But then it went away so I just went back to bed. It happened again the next night and although I initially wondered whether it was back labor or contractions, I noticed it was right on my kidney and whenever I touched my kidney it was tender. Monday I had a dr's appointment and I mentioned it to my doctor and he said just to keep an eye on it because sometimes the kidneys can become blocked in pregnancy. Also, at the doctor Monday we found out that the baby's head is about 50 cm. If you want to know how big that is, measure your own head, you may be surprised! It's huge. Anyway, Tuesday morning the pain in my back came again and became painful enough that I was having to breath through it and so I called my doctor and they told me to come to the hospital to get it checked out. I thought that was a little excessive since I could still talk through the pain.. I didn't think it was THAT bad, but I came nevertheless. When they hooked me up to the monitor they could see that I was indeed having contractions and they started coming closer and closer. My doctor said, " Well, I can tell you now you're not going home tonight" and they put me in a room. As soon as he left my contractions started coming like 3 minutes apart, it was crazy. Apparently they were pretty strong too but to me it just felt like some pain in my kidney and honestly not even as bad as periods I've had before. Just goes to show how stupid I am, I didn't even know I was in labor! You always hear people say, oh you'll know, but I did not know at all. And I don't think I would've known unless I had been here.

So they started an IV and got me on magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions which is a muscle relaxer and pretty potent stuff. It makes you feel like you have the flu as well and you can't focus on things. I managed to read a book, but it was difficult and not very enjoyable because I just felt like I couldn't care about it or get into it. It kinda makes you feel ho hum about things... it's weird. They tried to wean me onto a pill instead so I could go home for a little while, but that didn't go over well. As soon as they dropped the medication levels my contractions and pain came back. So here I've been since Tuesday... Thankfully they've dropped my medication levels twice just so I can be a bit more comfortable. It starts feeling like you're trapped in your own body and furthermore I'm trapped in this room and not allowed to even get wheeled around the halls. I really feel for people who have to spend their lives in the hospital! Especially people who don't have family or other support. Kenny has been sleeping in a chair next to me most nights. I feel so bad for him. He's trying to keep going to school and he's doing great even though all of this is going on on the sidelines. I know it's not easy but he's really supportive and I look forward to when he comes to see me during the day.

Jake is getting so huge, he just hurts. I told the doctor "it feels like I'm having twins, seriously" and he said "well, in a way you are because your baby's head is just so big". I LOOK like I'm having twins and I know I'm way bigger than I normally would be. I'm all swollen from the medication, which is super attractive also, haha.

So the doctor says I'm in here for another week and my c section will be next Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday: he's trying to get it scheduled. He said for sure I'm getting the vertical (or classical) c-section cut in the skin, but depending on how things look he may be able to go horizontal on my uterus, which would be awesome! Hopefully that would work but no guarantees. I know it's going to be hard to get the baby out as it is. The doctor said he's going to have forceps and a vacuum ready because he'll probably need one or both of them.

Well, that's about all. Meanwhile I'm just waiting. I can't wait to get this baby out of me even though I know the c-section is going to be difficult because he's so huge. I just can't wait to get on the road to recovery and get back to a somewhat normal life. And hopefully Jake's surgery (or surgeries) will go smooth as well. It's just hard to sit here and think and speculate~ let's get going! :)

well I think that's about all. thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers, we love you and we think of all of you too.

32 weeks And a picture

OK, so I'm 32 weeks and 3 days. But would you really guess that from this picture? Let's be honest... I'm HUGE. And please excuse my bathroom. Kenny wasn't here to take a picture for me.

Yesterday I had another doctor's appointment. He didn't measure the head this time, but I did get some news. Apparently the doctor is going to try to deliver him as close to 39 weeks as possible. I mean, it makes sense because Jake needs to be as developed as possible to have a better chance at a better recovery after surgery and all that. But or 7 more weeks of growing?? Can I do that?? I measured at 38 weeks yesterday and boy, do I feel it. I'm not sure... if I go to 39 weeks will I measure in the 50-week range? The doctor also said that if I go into labor on my own fairly soonish than I may be able to have a regular c-section cut. BUT if Jake stays in until he wants him to I'll have to have the vertical cut. I know it's the best for Jake and I want to do everything that's best for him, but yeah... sometimes I just wonder, "why couldn't everything just be normal like the babies everyone else is having?" I guess that's just how it goes.

Everyone I see or talk to thinks I must be due any day or having twins. HA . That's funny :)

Well, that's my current update! We'll see if I make it through February without a baby or what!

31 WEEKS! Here's a lot of information crammed into one post

I'm officially in my 31st week of pregnancy. I can't believe how fast it's going. Espeically since this means we only have about 4 weeks left until we're parents.... we think. :) Nothing's ever certain and the doctor can't give us an actual time frame yet. I know I'm lame and I don't have a picture with this post, but I'll post one soon when we get a camera which is hopefully this weekend.



So.. here's an update on Jake! We have met with both our pediatric neurologist and neurosurgeon, both of whom we LOVE and are so happy to have. Combined with our specialist OB Dr. Carpenter, we have the dream team of doctors and we couldn't be more pleased with them. I'm basically going in every week now for monitoring to my OB-GYN. Jake's head is about term size now (or larger), the size of a baby at about 40 weeks and the fluid is still there. Two weeks before we got that news, we learned that his head had grown significantly, but at the last appointment it hadn't really grown at all, which is good news and hopefully a trend that will continue! The doctor said that his head looks pretty much like another baby he had delivered a month or two ago and they had to take him at 35 weeks, so that's what we're counting on right now.



We also got some really good news. We sent in some amniotic fluid to get Jake's chromosomes tested to make sure his hydrocephalus isn't genetic- on the x-chromosome. This genetic hydrocephalus would mean that if we had another boy there would be a 50/50 chance of recurrance, and also it tends to carry other things along with it such as severe mental retardation and physical impairment. We got the results back and they are negative!! We are so grateful and so blessed that every test has come back normal and as far as we know the hydrocephalus is the only problem. Many times Hydrocephalus goes along with other birth defects but so far, we have found none in our baby. We know that this is a huge blessing and also that it may not be so if it weren't for all the faith and prayers we've been receiving from friends and family. Thank you all so much. The ultrasound does show that the fluid is pushing his brain out toward his skull (which happens in all hydrocephalus babies but on different levels) and Jake's brain in some spots is very very thin, almost non-existent. Hopefully once he's born and the fluid is drained we will be able to see miracles happen with his brain development. But his heart rate is normal, his movement is great, and everything else seems to indicate a healthy baby. We're confident he'll be a fighter.

The neurologist said we can expect cognitive delays and also possibly problems with motor development. We love our neurologist and neurosurgeon. Both said to stay positive because they've seen worse cases of hydrocephalus turn out just fine. They are positive and kind and calm, and they give us hope. We're so grateful! The neurosurgeon, Dr. Whitehead, is someone who we're REALLY excited about. I had researched him a lot before we met with him and I was ecstatic that we got an appointment because his main focus is hydrocephalus. In fact, he's in a group of doctors from around the country who study this and try to make improvements on treatment. In fact, he said that if our baby's ventricles stay open as wide as they are with the fluid pushing them out that he may be willing to try a surgery that would be an alternative to a shunt, which would be awesome! It's called a Third Ventriculostomy. It's where the doctor goes in and makes a small hole in the brain tissue where it won't hurt brain function but allows the fluid to drain. The only problem is that there's only about a 20% chance of this working for life. But if Jake is in that 20%, right now we feel like that would be a miracle to not need a shunt. The more we learn about shunts the more we realize what a burden they are as much as they are a help. They tend to fail often, get infected, clog, and over or under-drain. Obviously if he has to have a shunt we'll deal with it and pray for the best, but if any of those conditions happen (which they eventually will), he'll need emergency surgery to correct the problem. So we always will have to keep a close eye on him no matter what. Dr. Whitehead is probably one of the only doctors in the United States to even consider doing a Third Ventriculostomy on a baby. In fact, I had read that you couldn't even get one for a baby at all! He seemed optomistic that even if it doesn't work and Jake ends up needing a shunt that it's ok... there may be another chance to try the Third Ventriculostomy again. In fact, his whole attitude was that no matter what happens there is always a reason to hope that something else will work. We absolutely love him! An interesting note: Both doctors said that there's a small chance the hydrocephalus will at least partially correct itself by the time he's born. They said that in a small number of babies this happens, depending on the reason for the blockage. Fingers crossed!

In the meantime, we're trying to get things ready as much as we can. Jake has some really cute clothes to keep him warm and cozy in the hospital, and that's really all we know that we need for him right now because we're not sure if we're going to have to buy him special equipment, or if I'm going to be breast or bottle feeding... all those things are up in the air just depending on how he does. I'm feeling very pregnant now and the aches and pains of pregnancy are really starting to show themselves. I'll be in my 8th month next week and in some ways I'm grateful I probably won't make it to the end. Jake's a big boy because of his head, and I sure do feel it! I think by the time my C-section comes around I'll be ready to have my body back to myself. I can't imagine going to term with him and luckily I most likely won't have to. Plus, I think the most brain damage with hydrocephalus occurs after the 32nd week of pregnancy. Not positive on that, but it's something I read.

We just want to say thank you to everyone because we know we're in your thoughts and prayers and we want you to know that we feel your faith and love even though we're so far away from many of you. Some days are harder than others for me, where I just don't know how I'm going to handle this and if I'm going to have the capacity and strength to take care of this little boy. And then that's when I feel God's love, and I feel the prayers you have been sending our way. Our burdens are made lighter and we can get through the next couple of weeks. We just try to take it a day at a time and just be optimistic about Jake's life. It helps to have optimistic friends, family, and doctors. Thank you all!

If you would like, please visit fetalhydrocephalus.com to see pictures of these special babies and read a little more about the condition. The main reason I've been posting this website is so that I can prepare everyone for the pictures of Jake we're going to post. We feel it's important to not hide his pictures and we want to show him off, but at first it can be shocking to see a hydro baby. The menu on the left of that website has a link to a gallery and you can see what the babies looked like at birth and then as they got older. It also shows the range of outcomes from hydrocephalus, which I think is awesome.

Ok, we'll keep you all posted. I'm planning on bringing my laptop to the hospital too while I'm there so I can post pictures and catch everyone up on how Jake is doing.